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The mourning after (I met you)

12 Jul

Photo by Andrey Svistunov on Unsplash

ears

pinned back, erect

S of a tail twitching to/ /fro, 

a squirrel scampers      left/right,

juking a bird,               wings flailing

2keep Up— its beak nip-

ping the tip—         & neither

ever sees the car


    —another heart//beat     

in the bassline of a radio song.

So, I am guest hosting over at dVerse for the Anniversary. Been a while. The magic word in the quadrille is “juke”, feel free to join in the fun at 3 pm EST.

 
46 Comments

Posted by on 2021/07/12 in Uncategorized

 

46 responses to “The mourning after (I met you)

  1. Lucy

    2021/07/12 at 1:49 pm

    I adore the rhythm in this, it’s just so free flowing and wild. It really gets you into the poem, and I find this piece beautifully written.

     
    • brian miller

      2021/07/12 at 2:32 pm

      Its been a while, so i feel rusty….but i have to hear the words…the rhythm…thanks lucy.

       
  2. claudia

    2021/07/12 at 1:51 pm

    oh i like it quite a lot how the text jumps back and forth like a squirrel does – great action feel to this – and i so hope he saw the car on time and escaped to a tree…. i just want to think this – you know…
    nice to see you hosting at dVerse today sir – nice prompt as well
    i’m good – got my yoga teacher diploma during lock down – was able to keep my event manager job despite a lack of visitors during corona – we had to move house but found a great new place – family is well – all good 🙂

     
    • brian miller

      2021/07/12 at 2:34 pm

      Wow. Very cool on the Yoga instructor license. Hopefully the events will start to pick back up. Every time I think it will it surprises me.

      I will let you think and not tell you otherwise. 🙂

       
  3. Grace

    2021/07/12 at 2:39 pm

    I can feel the rhythm of the words & radio, and that underneath subtle emotion of a little bit of anxiety and hopefully not grief.

    Thanks for hosting Brian. Great to read you again!!!

     
  4. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    2021/07/12 at 2:42 pm

    This could definitely be in our garden… those squirrels are all around, and so are the birds… Usually, they find a way of seeing the cars before it’s too late. The title add another layer to the short poem I think

    Nice to see you hosting… it’s been so long time. I managed to meet with Claudia when she passed through Stockholm the summer before the pandemic.

     
    • brian miller

      2021/07/12 at 2:50 pm

      Thats awesome. I had a chance to catch her briefly several years ago when I was headed to Nepal, and we spent a couple days in New York a while back. She is definitely a cool one to hang with.

      It has been a bit. Glad you all are keeping the light on at the pub.

       
  5. Ingrid

    2021/07/12 at 3:10 pm

    I could just picture the two characters juking about before meeting their untimely end…I love how you’ve split up: ‘another heart/beat’ to suggest both continuity and ending. Maybe they made it?

     
  6. Linda Lee Lyberg

    2021/07/12 at 3:17 pm

    You’ve captured the movement here beautifully Brian, and yet such sadness.

     
    • brian miller

      2021/07/12 at 3:31 pm

      AH indeed. I actually watched this play out the other day. I was helping out at a youth camp, and was taking a break. It was so hot, the play of the squirrel and the bird was fun to watch…and then tragedy, a car…oy. Startling. But it is life. The things we never see coming.

       
      • Linda Lee Lyberg

        2021/07/12 at 3:34 pm

        Yes, I have intimate knowledge of those times. It can be startling.

         
  7. rogblog666

    2021/07/12 at 3:24 pm

    love the rythm of this i can sense the bass guitar over the radio.

     
  8. Masa

    2021/07/12 at 3:26 pm

    The complexities of the poem is quite something, not something I’m typically used to. It took me a few re-readings to feel like I got it right, but it felt pleasant by the end. A new style to appreciate, I think.

     
  9. Beverly Crawford

    2021/07/12 at 3:28 pm

    A bouncing (literally) quadrille …. until the car, that is!!!

     
    • brian miller

      2021/07/12 at 3:33 pm

      its not the fall…but the sudden stop…that gets you.

       
  10. merrildsmith

    2021/07/12 at 3:32 pm

    Great rhythm. I can imagine this scene–and the tragic ending.

     
  11. sanaarizvi

    2021/07/12 at 3:35 pm

    I love the intricacy of the manner in which you have captured the movement here, Brian! This is elegant, evocative and has a great flow and rhythm. So good to see you again! Thank you for hosting 💝 Happy 10th anniversary 🙂

     
  12. lillian

    2021/07/12 at 3:55 pm

    ….and neither ever sees the car…. what a jerking juke back to reality! Oh my. And then the scene shifts to the radio….masterful story within 44 words.
    THANK you for starting this pub!

     
    • brian miller

      2021/07/12 at 4:01 pm

      Ah it was a labor of love, and companionship…on the journey through words…i have fond memories of many friends from our early days…

       
  13. msjadeli

    2021/07/12 at 4:08 pm

    You brought the scene to vivid life — and unfortunate death. All in a day’s living and dying. I like the way you laid it you to describe the dance between them and how life-death-life goes on…

     
  14. Glenn A. Buttkus

    2021/07/12 at 4:21 pm

    Hey, my original comment seems to be deleted, lost in the blogosphere. It was cool too. I am hanging in there. My health has gone down hill, but the mind is clear, and poetics are still happening. I am finishing up my Cinemagenic movie/poem, BLACKTHORNE, now up to episode 137.

     
  15. Gillena Cox

    2021/07/12 at 4:22 pm

    Missed you and your poem style. Nice to read you again Brian

    Much💜love

     
  16. Sherry Marr

    2021/07/12 at 4:23 pm

    Ouch, re the unseen car! At least it was quick. Brian, I hve missed reading you. You have a unique worldview and I loved your poems. Hope life is good for you and your family. Did I ever tell you I made it back to Tofino? So grateful.

     
    • brian miller

      2021/07/12 at 4:34 pm

      Woohoo! Glad you made it to Tofino. I know that was a dream.
      All is well. I finished my doctorate. My oldest is heading off to college this year.
      Crazy. Life is good. 🙂

       
  17. Christine Bolton, Poetry for Healing

    2021/07/12 at 4:34 pm

    Aww, I’d like to think there was no thud and they made it ☺️ Wonderful quadrille with plenty of ‘Jukebox’ rhythm

     
  18. Ayala Zarf

    2021/07/12 at 4:48 pm

    I love the rhythm…I just missed you and reading your words. Congratulations on getting your doctorate and your oldest going off to college. Wild how time flies.

     
  19. Ron.

    2021/07/12 at 5:03 pm

    It’s ALIVE!! No matter what.

     
    • brian miller

      2021/07/12 at 5:32 pm

      You know, that is a compliment I will take…:)

       
  20. Shawna

    2021/07/12 at 6:16 pm

    I love picturing this spazzy little squirrel with an Afro.

    Which song?

     
    • brian miller

      2021/07/12 at 7:34 pm

      There days probably someting by Megan Thee Stallion…a little too thumpy to hear the bump bump…

       
  21. Helen Dehner

    2021/07/12 at 7:13 pm

    You are the master of using text giving the allusion of movement. I could see/hear it play out … even the sickening thud / and radio bass.

    Wishing you the best, always.
    Helen in Bend

     
    • brian miller

      2021/07/12 at 7:36 pm

      Thank you dear Helen. Good to see you still writing.
      ANd always the best back at you. 🙂

       
  22. Hank Kaykuala

    2021/07/12 at 7:16 pm

    Love the feeling of mobility of the little creatures. Gives the poem a sense of movement. How’s the going Brian?. Hank faithfully contributing to d’Verse for the past decade! Hope to see you more often henceforth!

    Hank

     
  23. rothpoetry

    2021/07/12 at 8:10 pm

    Another one bites the dust!! Squirrels juke anything that gets in their road… especially me. They just keep right on eating my bird seed. A great poem… Very realistic!! No love lost here!!
    Dwight

     
  24. Susan Joy Clark

    2021/07/12 at 8:31 pm

    I like a lot of things about this — the rhythm and the spacing between words suggesting the animals’ movements, the more unusual use of “juke,” and the surprise ending.

     
  25. erbiage

    2021/07/12 at 9:13 pm

    This flows like a fremen across the sand. /Love it.

     
  26. Truedessa

    2021/07/12 at 9:58 pm

    I can see the frenzy of the squirrel, they make me nervous when they run in front of my car. I want to think he made it to the other side safely. That is what my heart needs to believe.

     
  27. abigfatcanofworms

    2021/07/12 at 11:40 pm

    This is so punchy… words, meaning, rhythm all. Kapow! Fabulous.

     
  28. katiemiafrederick

    2021/07/13 at 7:48 am

    SMiles Brian Been
    Mostly Lost in India
    As A Missionary
    Of Poetry

    These Days

    Rare A Visit Back
    To dVerse Yet Not

    Missing A Free Verse
    Hello to Someone Who
    Welcomes Creativity

    With Squirrel Wings
    Indeed It’s Not

    So Much

    The Road Kill
    That Counts It’s

    How We Love And
    Live Life Free in

    Creativity

    With No
    Rules At All
    Amazing How
    The Magic of
    Chaos Will

    Order

    God into
    A New Chapter

    Of Breath To See

    Nice to See You With
    SMiles You’d

    Be the

    One to

    Avoid

    Making

    The Squirrel
    Road Kill That’s

    Enough 🐿

    KiNDNeSS…

    My Wife And Sister
    Move Frogs Off The
    Road in The Monsoons
    Of Florida At Night

    In Our
    Nightly Walks

    They

    Wait
    To Be
    Moved With
    SMiles Like
    Those Who Have

    Yet to Meet Princes

    In
    India

    Just

    Kindness…

    HeART Beats Continue 🐸

     
  29. Bill

    2021/07/13 at 9:13 am

    That took me there. Nicely done.

     
  30. Mish

    2021/07/13 at 11:37 am

    I was just talking to a squirrel through my window screen today as he sat on my fence. A strange, intimate moment as he looked me straight in the face, hanging on every word I said. My neighbor feeds them peanuts so a bit too tame, I think. Love the rhythm of your quadrille, the feel of staccato much like the scamper of the squirrel. Poor little guy. It was nice to read you again. 🙂

     
  31. writingwhatnots

    2021/07/13 at 1:39 pm

    Great ziggy zag movement of the squirrel – and then, ouch! I’m rooting for the bird.🤞 Loved this.

     
  32. robtkistner

    2021/07/13 at 1:52 pm

    Love the piece AND the creative form Brian. The line breaks work most effectively! As I said on my blog in response to your comment — so nice to see your name in my comments Brian. I as rushed yesterday, so I did not get to visit. Had my wife Kathy in the emergency room with severe dehydration. She’s fine, but it was all I could do to finish the piece I wrote, and get it posted during the 9 hours we spent in the exam room. Hope all is well for you and yours Bri! Must be nice to your effort still alive after a decade. I have watched so many prompt sites, including two of mine, (Writer’s Island” & Matinée Muse, )come and go in the 17 years I have been posting my work online. This year is my 58th year as a poet/lyricist having written my first two songs in 1963, at age 16, for my surf-rock group, the “Triptides”. We were a surf-rock group performing out of Cincinnati Ohio. Go figure? Oh well, we were young. The two songs were “Lonely Beachcomber” and “My Heart Breaks Like A Wave”. I will not inflict you with the sappy ‘young love’ lyrics, but never stopped writing after that. Any way, congrats on 10 years Brian, and Claudia! 🙂

     
  33. M

    2021/07/14 at 1:39 am

    Dr. Miller no less – felicitations. For fun with squirrels, maybe (if you have a spare few minutes) check out Mark Rober on youtube. No cars involved. I too have observed a void in the blogosphere without your unique voice – but I am sure the energy you brought here, if vicariously, you have continued to express in the well-deserved daily – Doctor, being one such proof. ~

     
  34. ben Alexander

    2021/07/14 at 3:37 am

    Brian,

    I really love this style… especially that ‘S’ of a tail! You nailed this.


    David

     
  35. areadingwriter

    2021/07/15 at 12:56 am

    the happy beat of this reminds me of how it feels to fall in love.

     

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